Thinking back on my experiences, I find Swamiji keeps giving me more than I give, and I feel Swamiji never took anything from me. Whatever I've given was donated willingly. I paid for some programs and donated for services the mission is doing. So Swami owes me nothing.
Swami only gave, more than I can give, especially when it comes to trust. In society I would not be qualified and people wouldn't trust me for the big tasks that Swami gave me the opportunity to do. Basically I do not have the knowledge for it. Even I would not give that much trust to myself.
I would not trust myself to manage the temple. Not only I was managing the temple, I was coordinating it at the national level. I would not trust myself to represent Vedic culture to the public. He put me out in front - I had such a personal connection with many devotees - trusting me with his good reputation. I handled so much cash and made many decisions that involved so much spending. I couldn't believe I was hand picked to do such seva. Many many times, I made blundering mistakes - even I would have been so upset with myself - but Swami never 'poked' me on these points. If needed He questioned me but He kept on trusting me and giving me opportunities to do even bigger things. He keep on giving me chances, to do it again and again and again till I feel comfortable or till I grow.
I trust Swamiji because He trusted me more than I trust myself.
You have said it all in your last line, Ma!
ReplyDeleteSuch amazing times and what He has given us to transform us. I feel such gratitude to have sometimes been by your side during those beautiful times in the temple.
What He gave us, no one in the world could ever give and nothing, nothing can ever take away the impact of it all. Forever it is working inside us.
For me, your experiences and how you managed them all are the embodiment of trust!