Oct. 22nd, 2010 (Bidadi)
Just thought will share a small story of Master's play with my identity.
When I met Swami my name was Sharmila or also known as Milla. Then on Feb. 14, 2004, I received a spiritual name Ma Ananda Praba. First NSP ever Swami did and this is the first time ever Swami started giving Spiritual Name. For me, then idea was, when divine gives.....just accept humbly. So was happy to receive this name from Swamiji. Even though one corner in my heart, I was think....god! PrabAAA, sounds so masculine. Why not like others...Usha, Shanti, Vimala :)
Of course there's not much choice there. Just accept and live with it. Just because it came from the Master, I started liking it. Or maybe even better, I simply started using it.
Then in the year 2005, I remember reading on the website; Ma Nithyananda Priya Mayi. I clearly remember thinking, "God...what a lucky person, she has her name after the Master". Then I remember Swami gave initiation in the first Nithyanandam program, year 2005 in Bidadi. Of course, I went and sat in the batch, want to apply to become an ashramite. He did some rituals and gave initiation to the group. So lucky me, He didn't ask me any question. Simply let me be in the group and gave the initiation. That time, He announced whoever wants spiritual name they have to commit to change it legally. Since I already have one, I did not apply.
The following year, early 2006 (I think) matter of couple months, Swami was on His world tour visiting US. I remember clearly it was in Sanatana Dharma Temple, LA, CA (DSP). Many were applying for spiritual name. Then a batch of people were called to stand in line to receive spiritual name. One of the LA ashramite (I was not an ashramite then) called me to stand in line too. I remember telling her, 'I already have a spiritual name'. She verified with me, "are you Ma Ananda Praba?". I said "Yes". She said "OK, then stand in line, please."
There comes my turn to get closer to Swamiji. Not knowing what is it about when I already have a spiritual name as Ma Ananda Praba. So now, I am near Swamiji. He gave me energy darshan. Then He uttered "Your name is Ma Nithyananda Praba". When I heard that, I was so happy. Unexpected, just had a thought how someone else is so lucky to have her name after the Master's name. Now He is showering it to me, without even asking. It was a pleasant surprise. I actually jumped-up and gave Him another hug. Yes, this time Swami didn't give me the hug, I gave Him :)
Then I wanted to change my name legally. So Swami suggested to have Nithyananda as the last name. So my name: Ma Nithyananda Praba, legally now my name is Praba Ma Nithyananda. Can't use Ma or Nithyananda as first the name. Almost everyone in the ashram is ma or pa and nithyananda. OK are you following....
By now I already have 3 versions of spiritual name:
Ma Ananda Praba
Ma Nithyananda Praba (legally as Praba Ma Nithyananda)
and after four years ....at the sanyas initiation when Swami gave me energy darshan He uttered
"Ma Nithya Prabananda". Again after bow down and took the kavi from His feet, He said it again "Your name is Ma Nithya Prabananda". I shook my head, confirming, yes...OK :)
So here you go, talking about Master breaking the identity.
Actually, I remember one of the LA ashramite, Sri Niranjana, before I leave to Bidadi in this visit. He said , maybe Swami should give a new name for you. After all these scandal and abusal. I also told him, 'yeah, it will be nice'. But then I thought, well....I already change it legally, I don't think that's going to happen.
The funny thing is even with Ma Nithya Prabananda - legally if I follow as described by Swamiji; my name will be the same as now, Praba Ma Nithyananda. Because I remember Him saying, if you have Nithya and Ananda, just have as Nithyananda as your last name. So Ma Nithya Prabananda legally it will be as my current version Ma Praba Nithyananda. Interesting!
Anyway, with my writing skill...., in the name of sharing, did I confuse You? Started as a small story , now has become a Longgg story :)
