Pratyaksha Pada Puja (Direct Offering to the Divine)

Nov.11, 2010 (Bidadi)

So far in 3 months time I was given an opportunity to do Pratyaksha Pada Puja , 5 times.  Never I imagined in my life I will get a chance to do this of offering to the Guru's feet this many time. 

In one of the pada puja suddenly I had a click.  Here, everything is well prepared by the ashramites (temple volunteers)  for the pada puja.  All I have to do is, go and sit, and follow the chanting as guided and do the puja. In the puja the chanting says....'I offer water, I offer food, I offer jewelery and so on, to you Master with deep gratitude.'

Suddenly, I realized "Oh God! even in life this is the mistake I am doing."  I think I am offering help, donation and so on to Swami and the mission, but actually in reality it's just like this Pratyaksha Pada Puja, I only offer to Him, His own".  The puja materials that I was offering belongs to the temple / foundation.  Which was provided by Swamiji Himself.  Now, I am sitting here saying...please take my offerings.  In a bigger picture, I am doing the same thing with life.  Existence provides me everything for my life and here I am thinking I am working hard to sustain this life, doing sadhana, giving the donation, giving my time and my energy to maintain this life, society or mission (which is existence itself).  God....it's such a Big illusion.

Deepavali Celebration & My Societal Conditioning

Nov 6, 2010 (Bidadi)

--The day of Deepavali Swami was not in the ashram.  I didn't know what's the plan. 

--So on the day of Deepavali as usual, we the ashramites were ready for daily pada puja.  The one change was we were told that puja will be in Chit Sabha.

--When they open the screen, wow! just like Swami (Swami's idol) sitting on His throne.  If I didn't know Swami's out traveling, maybe I would've thought swami is the one who is sitting on the throne.

--Immediately, I thought...."God, who did this beautiful work?  Gave us such a joy".  I thought must be the temple team who worked late just to give us the experience of Swami's physical presence on this special day.  Really, in the past, I wouldn't have appreciate all these work.  With Swami's grace, I've done temple work and alankar. This dimension is truly and expansion in me. 

-- After the puja we went to the stage and received His blessings from the paduka.

-- Then actually we received Swami's blessings(live) from where ever He was.  He wished all of us a Happy Deepavali and finally, He said, He will return back to the ashram the same night. So He can spend the Deepavali night with us.

--Of course that made all the residents of the ashram so happy and excited.  That was a pleasant surprise. 

-- Yesterday I played fire crackers.   God..... that was an interesting experience.  Being raised in Malaysia and living in USA for many years, the only thing I can remember is it's illegal.  Someone could get  hurt. I could see it touching my conditioning.

--The best part was when Swami returned to the ashram.  Wow!!!!.....more firecrackers.  Gosh....it was not firecrackers, the sound of it is more like fireworks.  It even look like fireworks.  I had a mix feelings like fun, annoying and also somewhat fear.....someone could get hurt.  That's all, it was running in my head. 

This is my fear.
This is the fear the media / gov. put in me while in school,
when they implemented the law to band firecrackers.
Firecrackers = injury & suffering!

--Talking about Master touching your tumor.  Swami was sitting for Homa.  I was sitting to the left of Swami, where all the ashramites and devotees were sitting.  He turned towards the ashramites / devotees, told us to play fire cracker.  

-- Well....I thought 'I am not going.'  I continue to sit.  Such a dilemma.  Whether to continue to sit or go and play  firecrackers, to face my conditioning. 

--Of course, since now I am aware it is one of societal conditioning, I decided to go and play.  In Swami's presence is the best time to face the fear.  He will help, make the process easier.  

-- So I did face my fear, and played firecrackers.  Not fancy ones.  Only the simple ones.  Safety was emphasized the whole time.  I played the thing that's design like long match stick. The safest and easiest :)

Maybe I had the same reaction :)

Yes.....the one, famous among kids was my choice.

-- Finally courageously took, one step forward, burnt firecracker that spins on the ground.  

Interesting these days, I have the awareness to witness my thoughts.  Able to see clearly when I am editing my thoughts and inner chatter out of my fear or greed, and the parental or societal conditioning thoughts.  Honestly, prior to Swami, I had no awareness about these at all.  Especially talking about 'editing' the thoughts and so on. 

Master the Cosmic Glory: Happy Deepavali

Master the Cosmic Glory: Happy Deepavali: "Nov. 4, 2010 (Bidadi) Wishing everyone a blissful Deepavali"

Happy Deepavali

Nov. 4, 2010 (Bidadi)

Wishing everyone a blissful Deepavali

Nov. 2, 2010 (Bidadi)


Yesterday was outing day for me.  Krishnananda, Kaviya and myself, we the LA gang went to Banglore city.  Of course we followed a local devotee. The fun part is we took a public bus and of course 'auto riksha' too.  It was Krishnananda first time on a auto riksha.  Of course because this is her first visit to India.  Lucky her, first time ever she came to India, she went to Himalayas and also got initiated into sanyas.  Nice.......

 Banglore city, the bazzars and shops reminded me of Bombay, in someways.  I really had a good time.

Oh.....I surprised Kaiviya and Krishnanda yesterday.  Actually I was surprise with my own action.  Yesterday, before we hit the road, to go back to Bidadi.  We stopped at a place call 'Natural Ice-Cream'.  mmm.....yummy.  It's more like frozen yogurt place in the US, not the ice-cream but the choices and display.
Those who know me, they know I literally live with ice-cream.  There was a season, I had ice-cream for breakfast , lunch, dinner and in between snacks.  My friends at work (in Sunrise LA) they can tell stories Ma (me) and ice-cream.  God....I will not eat anything at work other than ice-cream.  My close friends, Stan, Krishna, Malini, Selina,.....you talk to any of them, they will tell you that I will simply get excited when even I just think of ice-cream.  Now.....I was completely relax, not excited, not craving...........and the best part yesterday I passed on ice-cream.  I was not even aware that I passed on 'Ice-cream" till Kaviya told me "ma, I can't believe that You said no to ice-cream."  When she brought to my attention, then even I was surprise.  "You are right! It's not like me....wow!"  I told her it could be the power of Master's initiation.  These days we just eat twice a day.  No snacking in between.  Before each meal I have to take my bath and do Gurupuja.  I had my breakfast in the morning before the trip to Banglore so before my second intake of food I have to take my bath and do puja, I will not be able to do until I get back home, so no snacking, that's all.  I didn't even think further.

But honestly, it may look like simple for you to think it's normal and what's the big deal?  Oh God....trust me, ice-cream, literally like an addiction.  Especially already in the store and missing it, mmm......that's very unlikely.  The best part is my brain didn't even think 'oh! it's ice-cream or I am missing something , .... ...! Until Kaviya brought it to my attention.  Really, knowing myself, that's like 'Ice-cream  dropped me' not 'I dropped the ice-cream'.

Difficult for me to express the inside feeling or engram.....dropping without my effort.  Nice experience.....

Oct. 31, 2010 (Bidadi)

Nithyanandam everyone.  Oopps another long break from sharing on the blog. Sorry!
I guess as IA date is getting closer, my mind is fully thinking of IA, most of the time.

Swami is really busy with eN-Kalpatarus.  Divine really knows how to; reach seekers. I've never come across someone with such patience and compassion.

Today again Swami remimded us to be in awareness all the time.

Ooopps again have to go.  Will continue or update more.....

Interesting words of the Master

Oct. 27, 2010 (Bidadi)

Interesting words from Swamiji's discoourses / sharing:

1.  "This time I'm not going to be crucified, I am not Jesus, I am Kalabhairava."

2. "I have deep love for all of you.  I am still in this body just to be with you."

3. "We are all standing together, cosmos will stand with us.  We are beautiful flowers in the cosmos."

4. "Let us disappear into courage."

5. "Let us all achieve and radiate enlightenment."

6. "Sanyas is awakening different levels of DNAs."

(will continue...have to go).